Our Eyes Were Opened

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Hidden Voices Part 3 in a series

One way I identify hidden voices is from the comments I receive through my work with Our Eyes Were Opened, Inc. I’ve been told: If they’d stop having children and were responsible for the ones they have, we’d all be better off. This was a recent statement posed as a question in a group I was leading. A slightly different version of this same idea came from a group that wants to help young women have choices about when they begin parenthood. The people I was working with really did not see the need to talk with the males.

One hidden voice is the mother’s.  Some people believe that she had that baby just to get more welfare money. If we listened to her, we might learn that yes, the first child might make her eligible for certain services but a second child certainly does not double that stipend. So let’s listen to why some women have babies when, if we were in their circumstances, we certainly would not bring another child into the world with its lifelong financial costs.

In order to prevent pregnancies, a woman has to go to a medical professional to get a prescription or a birth control device. Making and keeping that appointment may in itself be challenging because the medical hours may not align with the work schedule of an hourly worker. Transportation issues may mean that when she is more than 15 minutes late for her appointment she is told she must reschedule.  If she takes a birth control pill, that means remembering to take it on schedule which may be impossible when she has other things to think about…things such as food and shelter. Using birth control, unless she uses something such as an IUD, requires a level of commitment that may necessarily be focused elsewhere.

The man may not want to be responsible for preventing pregnancy because he believes that’s the woman’s thing to do or he wants to go, shall we say, au naturelle.  So, prevention itself may be a challenge.

Add to that that when she has a baby, she might qualify for subsidized housing—if she can find it— housing that would not be available to her as a young woman alone or even as a childless married couple. But when she has a baby, she can go back to the daddy and say, “You owe me. I had your child.” The baby daddy becomes a kind of insurance policy she hopes she can depend on when necessary.

You may be interested that in South Carolina, about half the babies born are born to single mothers. This does include fathers who readily claim paternity. Many couples today cohabitate without the benefit of marriage. Just look at any celebrity magazine while waiting in line at the grocery store.

The fathers also have a stake in the birth of a son or daughter. I once heard a male say that he was proud that he had a lot of children because his kids proved that he had lived on this earth. He had no expectations of a long life or any kind of legacy other than his kids. His voice has been hidden to us because he sees no validation of his life other than to have had children.

What kind of world are we accepting?


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Hidden Voices (Part 2 in a series)

One way I identify hidden voices is from the comments I receive through my work with Our Eyes Were Opened, Inc. One comment that I hear is: “If they’d just get a job, everything would be okay.”

Maybe we need to listen to why some people do not work. In order to get and keep a job, you have to have transportation, good health, adequate and safe childcare, and good people skills.

In the poverty simulation that I facilitate, I ask during the debriefing session how people who had a job in the simulation would now respond to that comment: “If they’d just get a job, everything would be okay.” The participants report that yes, they had a job but they didn’t earn enough to pay the family’s bills. Yes, they had a job but did not have enough time when they got off work to take care of all the family’s responsibilities or to supervise their children. Yes, they had a job but lost it because they did not have enough bus tickets to get to work. Yes, they had a job but were tardy because of issues out of their control and so their pay was reduced. Their already stressed budget could not absorb the ongoing costs of transportation tickets to continue the job.

The hourly self-sufficiency wage for one adult and one preschooler in 2016 in Greenville, SC, was $15.67/hour. I’ll remind you that minimum wage is $7.25/hour. The annual self-sufficiency wage for two adults with a preschooler and a school age child was $46,030. The self-sufficiency wage includes housing, child care, food, public and/or private transportation, health care (if the employer pays for health insurance), taxes and tax credits, miscellaneous things (figured at 10% of all other expenses), and emergency savings.

I’ll expand just a bit about transportation. Greenville pays $3.76 per capita for its public transportation system whereas Charleston pays $17.79 and Greensboro pays $40.70. Our low per capita expenditure is not a fact to be proud of. Transportation is a huge hurdle for employment.

Many people want to work but the required infrastructure to get and keep a job is just not there.

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Hidden Voices

We will not, do not, or cannot hear the voices that are hidden in our community.

We will not…hear hidden voices

We stay within the confines of people more or less like us. We live in neighborhoods with people who are more or less like us. We work with people who think more or less like we do. We worship with people who are educated more or less like we are. Our income levels are more or less alike.

We tend to remain with people whose fund of knowledge is similar to ours. Our fund of knowledge grows from our gender, our age, our socieoeconomic status, our education level, our experiences of the broader world, our race, our faith perspective and a host of other things. We often believe that our fund of knowledge is the only one that’s valid.  We will not hear hidden voices.

We do not… hear hidden voices.

We do not want to hear hidden voices. We are busy enough with career or retirement, caring for kids, grandchildren, or ailing parents. We struggle with our own limited world of influence and certainly do not want to be disturbed by issues beyond our control. We want to remain in our own bubble. We like our blinders of our skin color, our privilege of power or prestige, or our position in society. We prefer that hidden voices remain hidden. Otherwise we might feel uncomfortable and we do not want that! We do not hear hidden voices.

We cannothear hidden voices.

We are stressed already with the problems of the world. We are overwhelmed with all our responsibilities in our home, our community, our church, our work, or our neighborhood. We may be going through a divorce, grieving the loss of a loved one, struggling with health issues, or facing financial challenges ourselves. We do good to crawl out of bed in the morning and plow through the day. We simply cannot take on any more. Our bandwidth is taxed heavily right now. We cannot hear hidden voices.

But there are hidden voices in our community. During my next few posts, I’ll share some of those.